Friday, August 23, 2013

How to avoid disappointment.......5 ways to better yourself....Bradley Manning

Today Bradley Manning was sentenced to 35 years in prison. My heart sank , of course realizing his life is over, and it immedialty got me thinking.

In his mind, he was doing the right thing. He was exposing evil deeds, by a powerful government that often stands for freedom. In a moment of realization he found the evidence to be so hypocritical that he had to seek out a way to make it right.

Unfortunately, he chose a medium that might not have been appropriate to really help him balance the moral struggle going inside his mind, while evading legal prosecution.

As an army private, he is tasked with a duty to defend our country, and was eventually caught in the cross hairs of an international firestorm.

My horoscope said this to me today. "Lower your expectations of others, and increase your own expectations for yourself".

So Now I ask you this.....

Did Manning fail?

 If he raised his own standards and lowered his expectations and hope on what the US Government would do, would this situation played out differently. Perhaps, he would not have been persecuted by the US Government, or turned in by his friend who he confided in. If he lowered his expectations, he would have assumed in totality the risk facing him, knowing he would of course, be treated as a traitor and his friend would turn him in

He could have raised his own expectations, and demonstrated the change he wanted to see.

There are a million different ways he could have leaked the information, there are a million different ways he could have affected and started a change.

Now its all too late.

I'm not saying this to chide him, and I do appreciate what he was attempting to do, however not at the loss of his private life.

Regardless if this is true or not it made me think that perhaps I should always hold myself to a higher standard. That my morals and values are different and unique from those of others, and thats ok. I have to do the best I can for me. In doing so, this will make sure I"m in control of my happiness, and it is therefore not dictated by the actions of others. Thats the best personal freedom one can have.

 I can deal or change myself first, then the rest of the world will follow.

1. Expect less from others
- Don't expect nothing, and it doesn't mean you should accept crap from people. Don't expect everyone to have the same experiences and moral standings that you have. Our morals are developed from a million different factors including ranging from family makeup to environment. If someone agrees to do something for you, and they don't release the pain, don't feel bad. Let it go.

2. Don't get caught in the" I would never do that" paradox
-You don't really know what you would do until the situation presents itself. Its one possibility, that based on current conditions, you would always fulfill your end of the bargain, or whatever it is that you would DEFINITELY do. You unfortunately not everyone else. This is something I had to learn.

Not everyone wants to be what I want, or do the same things I do, and thats ok. We are all unique individuals. We have different values, and therefore, hold ourselves to 6 billion or so different moral standards. Each unique to every humans personal experiences on the planet.

3. Always look on the bright side of life
- Its true. So you've been failed or let down. Is it really so bad? Is there an equally good situation that relates to this that balances out the feelings of let down. Most likely there are. Are you looking at everything thats wrong? Or can you find the good in every situation, even the ones that seem terrible.

Don't be lazy
Don't be afraid

Just be happy. :)

4. Hold yourself to a higher standard
- Don't sweat the small stuff. If you say you will do something for someone do it. Realizing we know the disappointment that comes with not fulfilling a promise, make sure that you are a man( or woman) of your word. If you give out advice, be sure to accept some in return, it shows your a listener, and people will follow your advice much more. Effective people are often effective in their actions not only in their words. What are you saying today? What standard do you show to people that you hold yourself too?

5. Take your own advice- the phrase is"Lead by Example", not give an example of leading - This is something I'm learning as well. I'm so used to giving out advice to people, that very seldomly I realize what I say, and what I do. As much as we think its unnoticeable, people notice if there is a disconnect between what you do and say. That makes you ineffective and therefore not"dependable"/

I like to give out a lot of fitness and love advice, and while I pride myself on having a lot of experience in both, I don't practice enough of what I preach in front of those I want to listen to me. So sometimes, what ends up happening is I get ignored. I love giving fitness advice, however I haven't been to the gym in over a month. Yea sure I bike everyday, but I give out gym advice, and it seems like my friends who need my advice never want to listen.

 Have you felt that way? That no matter what advice you say or give, theres someone that just instantly thinks your wrong. Or perhaps you just feel like your being ignored.

 Instead of getting upset, its time to examine yourself( and myself as well) What am I doing, that creates this problem and how can I fix it.  Perhaps, I never listen to this person when they try to offer me advice, so now my advice is going un noticed. Perhaps they notice the disconnect in my own life.

Then the circle continues, and communication can truly break down

Don't be lazy. Don't be afraid. Just Walk


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